Chinese: Moral Behind the Story

1、建築師
一位夫人打電話給建築師,說每當火車經過時,她的睡床就會搖動。
"這簡直是無稽之談１建築師回答說,"我來看看。"
建築師到達後,夫人建議他躺在床上,體會一下火車經過時的感覺。
建築師剛上床躺下,夫人的丈夫就回來了。他見此情形,便厲聲喝問 ："你躺在我妻子的床上幹什麼？"
建築師戰戰兢兢地回答："我說是在等火車,你會相信嗎？"

【哲理】
有些話是真的,卻聽上去很假；有些話是假的,卻令人無庸置疑。

２、引誘
英國紳士與法國女人同乘一個包廂,女人想引誘這個英國人,她脫衣躺下後就抱怨身上發冷。先生把自己的被子給了她,她還是不停地說冷。
"我還能怎麼幫助你呢？"先生沮喪地問道。
"我小時候媽媽總是用自己的身體給我取暖。"
"小姐,這我就愛莫能助了。我總不能跳下火車去找你的媽媽吧？"

【哲理】
善解風情的男人是好男人,不解風情的男人更是好男人。

3、調羹
麥克走進餐館 ,點了一份湯,服務員馬上給他端了上來。
服務員剛走開,麥克就嚷嚷起來："對不起,這湯我沒法喝。"
服務員重新給他上了一個湯,他還是說："對不起,這湯我沒法喝。"
服務員只好叫來經理。
經理畢恭畢敬地朝麥克點點頭,說："先生,這道菜是本店最拿手的,深受顧客歡迎,難道您……"
"我是說,調羹在哪里呢？"

【哲理】
有錯就改,當然是件好事。但我們常常卻改掉正確的,留下錯誤的,結果是錯上加錯。

4 、穿錯
飯廳內,一個異常謙恭的人膽怯地碰了碰另一個顧客,那人正在穿一件大衣。
"對不起,請問您是不是皮埃爾先生？"
"不,我不是。"那人回答。
"啊,"他舒了一口氣,"那我沒弄錯,我就是他,您穿了他的大衣。"

【哲理】
要做到理直氣壯,並不是件容易的事情。理直的人,往往低聲下氣；而理歪的人,卻是氣壯如牛。

5、回電
一個蘇格蘭人去倫敦,想順便探望一位老朋友,但卻忘了他的住址 ,於是給家父發了一份電報："您知道托馬的住址嗎？速告１
當天,他就收到一份加急回電："知道。"

【哲理】
當我們終於找到最正確的答案時,卻發現它是最無用的。

6、傷心故事
有三個人到紐約度假。他們在一座高層賓館的第45層訂了一個套房。
一天晚上,大樓電梯出現故障,服務員安排他們在大廳過夜。
他們商量後,決定徒步走回房間,並約定輪流說笑話、唱歌和講故事,以減輕登樓的勞累。
笑話講了,歌也唱了,好不容易爬到第34層,大家都感覺精疲力竭。
"好吧,彼德,你來講個幽默故事吧。"
彼德說："故事不長,卻令人傷心至極：我把房間的鑰匙忘在大廳了。"

【哲理】
我們痛苦,所以幽默；我們幽默,所以快樂。

7、賣書
一個很有名的作家要來書店參觀。書店老闆受寵若驚,連忙把所有的書撤下,全部換上作家的書。作家來到書店後,心裏非常高興,問道："貴店只售本人的書嗎？"
"當然不是。"書店老闆回答,"別的書銷路很好,都賣完了。"

【哲理】
"拍馬屁"是個奇怪的詞：你像是在奉承他,又像是在侮辱他。

8、幫忙
在郵局大廳內,一位老太太走到一個中年人跟前,客氣地說："先生,請幫我在明信片上寫上地址好嗎？"
"當然可以。"中年人按老人的要求做了。
老太太又說："再幫我寫上一小段話,好嗎？謝謝！"
"好吧。"中年人照老太太的話寫好後,微笑著問道："還有什麼要幫忙的嗎？"
"嗯,還有一件小事。"老太太看著明信片說,"幫我在下面再加一句：字跡潦草,敬請原諒。"

【哲理】
你若不肯幫忙,人家會恨你一個星期；如果幫得不夠完美,還不如……

This will Really Mess With Your Mind

3 men go to a motel. The man behind the desk said the room is $30, so each man paid $10 and went to the room.

A while later the man behind the desk realized the room was on special at only $25, so he sent the bell boy to return the $5.

On the way, the bell boy couldn't figure out how to split $5 evenly between 3 men, so he gave each man a $1 and kept the other $2 for himself.

This meant that the 3 men each paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27, add the $2 that the bell boy kept = $29.

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?

Can you figure out the answer? Mind to share with me..

What I learned from this SNAIL

The old saying goes ~~ If there's a will, there's a way.

It all boils down to the faith that you have down in your heart. Look at this snail, nothing is impossible, if you heart is willing to...

Do You Ever Wonder What Happens When We Share?

When we share laughter,
There's twice the fun;
When we share success,
We've surpassed what we've done.

When we share problems,
There's half the pain;
When we share tears,
A rainbow follows rain.

When we share dreams,
They become more real;
When we share secrets,
It's our hearts we reveal.

If we share a smile,
That's when our love shows;
If we share a hug,
That's when our love grows.

If we share with someone
On whom we depend,
That person is always
Family or friend.

And what draws us closer
And makes us all care,
Is not what we have,
But the things we share

~By Jill Wolf~

Breaktime: The Law of the Garbage Truck

This is a good one to share...

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined our car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.....

'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'

The Chinese Brain

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.

He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'

The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?'