Meet My Girl - Olivia

Remember sometimes ago I mentioned about writing a post about my youngest daughter - Olivia. So here it goes.

Olivia is the name both hubby and I came out with after watching "She is a Man" DVD. Since both of us couldn't agree with the names suggested by either of us, so eventually settled with Olivia - what a unique and lovely name for her.

Little Olivia was wondering what mommy was doing with the camera and kept asking her to look at the camera. Big sister, Amanda was at the back imitating mommy with an old camera.

Olivia with her super short hair. Most of times people mistakenly thought she is a boy when her hair was short.

I like this pic very much, she is so cute,

Haha... Olivia with her 2-in-1 spectacles. "Mommy, don't disturb me, I am very busy now."
She was busy with her writing - taking down order for us, pretending herself the waitress of a restaurant. Both Amanda and Olivia like to role play, most of the time they play waitress-customer, teacher-student. I guess this is very common among children their age.

When she was done with the order-taking, she posed, I snapped. Sometimes I wonder why a little kid like Olivia will have eye bags like mine, is it inherited or is she not getting enough sleep?

Both Amanda and Olivia celebrating their 5 & 4th birthday. You know what, both the girls and myself were born in the same month of July. So, usually we'll celebrate our birthday together.

Olivia - one of the flower girl for my sister wedding. She looked so gorgeous in her white princess gown. I even put some make-up on her that made her very doll looking.

This is one of the rare photos of her posing nicely. Olivia likes to make funny face whenever she knows you are going to take her picture. She is very different from her sister Amanda who loves to be photo-shot. Amanda is very good at posing with her flashing sweet smile. While Olivia is good at making funny face, she acts very unnatural when comes to photo-taking.

Olivia is now 6 years old and it's her 2nd year in kiddie. She is now very independent and manage to finish her homework all by herself. But one thing, her hand-writing is terrible. So big that I don't believe it's a girl's hand-writing. I think one day I shall scan some of her workbooks and place it here. Haha...

Beware: Never Ever Shake A Baby - it causes death

December 4th, 2007, Jessica Sherwood had to do something no mother should ever have to do.

At 2:29 pm Jessica made a very tough, but the right decision to take her little 3 month old daughter off life support
In memory of little London Marie, i thought id start a little forward..
Jessica had a message that i want every one to know..

This is what Jessica said:

'If anyone has kids, make sure that you keep them with you the whole time. Don't give then to anyone that you don't trust. Trust me, I thought that I trusted Josh. But now as of December 4, 2007 at 2:29 AM, she is gone. My one & only baby . & He is going to pay FOREVER, even if he gets out of jail scott free, he will be dead no matter what. & To all my friends that know London , I am very angry & upset that I lost the love of my life, my baby girl. She died on her three month birthday .

London had six fractured ribs, both of her legs were fracture, & her brain was so damaged that if she were to live she would be a vegetable
So I did what was right & what was best for her & took her off life support
That's what you call Shaken Baby Syndrome [SBS]'

For those of you who don't know what Shaken Baby Syndrome check out the facts ;

- Shaking, jerking and jolting can cause blood vessels in the head to tear or burst.

Shaken Baby Syndrome is the shaking of an infant or child by the arms, legs, or shoulders with or without impact of the head.

This trauma can result in bleeding and brain injury with no outward signs of abuse

Often frustrated caregivers feel that shaking a baby or small child is a harmless way to make the child stop crying. However, a baby's brain and blood vessels are vulnerable to whiplash motions, such as shaking, jerking, jolting, and impact.


The neck muscles of an infant or small child are weak, so the child's head is relatively heavy and the neck cannot support the stress of shaking or impact


- Shaking a very young child, with or without impact of the head, can cause irreversible brain damage, blindness, cerebral palsy, hearing loss, spinal cord injury, seizures, learning disabilities, and even death.


It is tragic that healthy, intelligent babies are suffering these disabilities simply because their caregivers don't know about the dangers associated with Shaken Baby Syndrome


An estimated 1,200 to 1,400 cases of Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) occur each year in the United States .

Only 1 out of 4 babies dies of Shaken Baby Syndrome

HOWEVER, the other three babies will need ongoing medical attention for the rest of their short lifespans.

London in the hospital

London after she passed

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD DOESN’T WANT TO SLEEP AFTERNOONS

This might happen to you, no only on occasions, but almost daily. In the morning, you and your little one are best friends, you are playing together and you have a wonderful collaboration. After lunch, something is starting to happen – the child becomes anxious, maybe he’s crying, he says he still has something to eat when the plate is empty and so on… All these are only the clues for your nightmare: he won’t sleep this afternoon either!

The sleep after lunch represents for most adults an inaccessible luxury, even if it is highly indicated for a better digestion and to avoid over-soliciting the organism. This is exactly why you must accustom your child to this healthy habit, no matter how much he fights it. A first advice would be to insist: don’t give up on his pleadings at least until the afternoon sleep is part of his daily routine.

One way to do it is to sit down on the bed next to your child and to read him a story. His organism will surely react and he will soon fall asleep. Don’t forget to place next to him his teddy bear or doll, telling him that the toy has to sleep too.

The method can be reversed: tell him, with a serious tone, that it is essential for the toy to sleep and who can take better care of it that the child himself. Put him to bed with the toy and leave the room. It is highly probable that within the next ten minutes you will find him sleeping.

It is recommended that you will come back from time to time and see if he is indeed sleeping. If he’s playing and totally forgot he has to sleep then stay with him, cheer him up and talk to him on a low tone and it will work just like a lullaby.

Another strategy is to promise the child you will take him out in the park to play with other children and for that he needs to be rested. This will make him happy and he will go to sleep easier. The only trick is to actually go with him to the park after he wakes up. If you don’t then he will lose his trust in you and you will have more problems with him, many more than just the afternoon sleep.

Don’t use it as a blackmail though – the child needs to understand and to learn that afternoon naps are not a way to get what he wants and not a punishment either, he needs to understand them as a healthy habit necessary for his health.

If possible try to get him to sleep every day at the same hour because this way his organism will react and after a few weeks the little one will get sleepy right after lunch. That is going to be a relief from all the previous problems!

The Key of Talking to Your Children

Sometimes they are incredibly stubborn. But other times they pay attention and are remarkably receptive. No matter how they are, their parents love them and all they want is to provide their children with everything they might need and to make them feel protected at all times. Sometimes, as a parent you seem to be in need of a “dictionary” that can give you the best solution in the relation between you and your son or daughter. Because fighting and yelling won’t solve a thing you must find out…

… Which are the five things you have to say to you child?

1. “Please make up your mind!”
If you use this way of approach when you ask your child to do something – or not to do something anymore – you say loud and clear what you mean and you are showing the child that he or she is responsible for his or hers actions. This way of getting into a conversation has the gift of teaching the little one what cause and effect mean and, not lastly it doesn’t make you “the bad person”.

2. “I love you but I don’t like the way you are acting.”
If you need to teach him a think or two about discipline, you have to make him understand the difference between the deeds done and the person that does them.Saying that you love him is very important, because this way he realizes the main purpose of the conversation is not to punish him, but to show him what is right to do and how he should behave.

3. ”I need you to help me solve this situation.”
If the little one has found an activity that bothers you, like mumbling during dinner or playing with the food, express yourself clearly as if you are the one that has a problem.

4.”What did you really mean by that?”
When kids fight and get nervous, it is possible for them to say things like “I hate you”. but that doesn’t have to scare you because these are the first words that come to mind when they are engaged in a conflict with their friends. But you can help them get over it and make them think of what was it that made them so nervous and angry.

5.”People are different and they have different needs.”
When you hear you child say for the thousandth time “But this is not fair”, you have to make them understand that the reason that makes people be treated differently is the fact they have different needs.

The First Moments of Your Baby's Life

During pregnancy you sit for hours and imagine how your baby is going to look like and how will he or she feel the first time you are going to hold him. You wonder how birth for him is. How a normal baby looks, how will he react in is first hours of life. Let’s answer some of these questions.

1. What does birth mean for the baby?
Imagine you are in a place in total security, warmth and without pain or any discomfort at all and suddenly from there you seem to get pushed and thrown into a world of intense sensations: light, cold, smells, noises. Your back is for the first time straight and your lungs fell funny and burn a little. And now imagine that you are going back to that universe of warmth; you feel the mother’s skin and that feeling of safety when in her arms. in an ideal world the baby has just a few moments of the hush reality before he is returned to his mother’s arms.

2. How is the baby going to look like?
His head might seem a little too big. He might have a pink or darken color or his hands and feet might be a little blue. All this is normal and the stains and strange colors will disappear in 24-48 hours.

3. What does the baby feel in his first hours?
The first hour from the life of your baby is critical. The transaction to the real life is hard and he has to adjust. If you need to know more, ask the doctor and the nurse about what they are doing to him and their results. You are allowed to ask and receive answers, after all it is your baby.

4. When is the right time to get close to the baby?
The baby can make contact with the mother just after the few moments in which he is going to cry. If the room is not too bright, he will open his eyes and concentrate on his mother’s face.

5. Is it normal for a baby to want to go the sleep right after birth?
Birth is an exhausting experience and after an hour passes the mother and the baby must be left to sleep for a couple of hours. Also it is not unusual for the baby to sleep 4-8 hours more; maybe he will awake from time to time to get some food.

PATIENCE IS LEARNT OVER TIME

Being a parent is most definitely one of the most important patience tests. They say patience is a virtue, it is true – but this comment makes you think patience is a quality that only a few chosen ones have. In fact, patience is learnt over time even if some parents don’t do well on this chapter at first. But, with a little effort, any parent can learn to be patient and to amuse himself over some situations that not so long ago annoyed him.

Firstly, you have to learn to have patience with yourself. Do not blame yourself for everything and show tolerance – without falling into the trap of self-content. Happily for children, adults are mature persons and know, most of the times, to keep their nerves under control. Don’t raise your voice and impose your wills with a calm but firm tone, no matter the problem.

Generally, try not to think about tomorrow and don’t let yourself become overwhelmed with perspective problems. Focus only on immediate problems, because if you do otherwise you will only worry a lot more and you will get upset easier.

A lower stress level will definitely inflict more patience on your side. Also, try to explain the child, calmly, what is it you are expecting of him and the ways he can rise up to your expectations. Restrain from blaming him. And if we already are on the subject of expectations, it is essential not to ask of him more than he can give you, based on his age.

Children sometimes seem to try on purpose to test the limits of their parents’ patience. If you fell this is what your little one does, ask yourself what might push him to this. Maybe he is trying to cover some frustration, maybe he wants revenge for a moment when you were unfair or maybe he feels neglected and he’s only trying to get your attention.

Maybe it would be best if you look at the problem from his point of view for a change: if he won’t learn to be himself a patient person, then he probably won’t try to help you anyhow on this.
To make your child become a patient person you can:

- Play with him interactive games – this will teach him to wait until his turn comes.

- Read to him thick books and long stories, leaving to follow-up for the next evening. Do not give in to his pleads to find out the ending in the same evening.

- Teach him to plant a tree or to take care of a flower – then he will learn to be patient until he sees the results of his work.

If he wants a bike, give money, a little a time, and tell him to save them for that bike. Of course you will be the one that will give him the present, but your child will learn to have patience and, at the same time, the value of money.

EVERYONE GIVES ADVICE TO THE NEW MOM

This probably happens to the majority of the women that recently became mothers for the first time: they feel as if they really know nothing about taking care of the baby, feeding him, what to do when he doesn’t seem to stop crying, how to dress the little one. Of course, immediately older relatives or friends that have children appear and everyone is competing to give you the best advice. And the amount of advice is huge but many of the indications contradict themselves.

Actually, as time passes, you start feeling like you are in some kind of rollercoaster and don’t know who you should listen to first…it seems that all of your friends have nothing better to do than give you advice. Even the mommies from the park, that you really don’t know, are now giving you advice and sharing their opinions regarding your baby: he looks too thin or too fat for his age, he is too quiet or too noisy, and how you should feed him, as if you didn’t already know that.

The truth is, that no matter how many books have been written to better explain this, being a parent is a science forever growing and changing, sometimes in a trembling way. What was good two or three years ago, today is outdated and not recommended, like placing your baby on his belly when you get him ready for sleep or giving him solid food before he turns four month old. And if in your family there hasn’t been a baby for a long time, you should expect such out-dated advice. You must try not to loose your patience because they mean well and they can’t know what the latest discoveries in this area are.

It is true that sometimes this can get very annoying. They will all say “I’ve raised a child already, you haven’t!”, but again, try not to lose your patience. In the mean time, you must claim your point of view and always stay in touch with your pediatrician – that is the best you can do for the little one. Because your family members care about the baby’s health they will be flexible and won’t try to impose at any costs.

The only problem that should really matter to you should be the following: because you are anyway lost and confused and why not, overwhelmed by the new responsibilities, there is the risk that this advice you are getting to make you wonder whether you are a good mother or not.

But, once you gave birth, the maternal instinct appears, it is actually there even when you are pregnant. No matter what everyone else says, even if you are not an expert when it comes to babies, you are however an expert in everything relater to your baby! You know and feel best what he wants and needs. Trust your instincts – you are probably doing much better that you know.

12 COMMANDMENTS FOR PARENTS

In a child’s education an important factor is the parents’ expertise for this “job”. No one is born holding all the knowledge, but we can learn and understand some things from books or advice from qualified persons.

Amongst the commandments a parent should strictly follow are the following:

1. Do not underestimate your child – he can understand more than you think he does and if you make him believe you think poorly of him this might affect his development.

2. Don’t use threat – a child loves a challenge and once threatened he might probably go on and do what he wasn’t suppose to just to see if he can escape the punishment.

3. Do not bribe your child – if you are trying to get him to learn for money for example, he will fail to understand the importance of learning, all he will get from this is the importance of money.

4. Do not make a small child promise something – small children can’t hold promises so don’t force them to lie and then punish them because they did that.

5. Do not keep them under a short leash – to grow up normally children need some space, some freedom.

6. Do not use big words or too many words when you are talking to your child – keep your ideas simple and concise so he can understand every thing you have to say.

7. Do not expect an immediate and blind obedience – it is not recommended, the child has to be learned to think for his own not to follow orders.

8. Do not indulge him too mush – he can develop compartmental disorders.

9. Do not compromise when it comes to the rules of a game – the trick for a game to become educative is too have its initial rules respected.

10. Don’t impose rules that don’t go with the age of your child.

11. Do not try to inflict quilt – quilt is not an appropriate feeling for children, especially if they are little.

12. Don’t give your child orders that you don’t take seriously – your child will try to please you and giving him an order is drastic, and it becomes cruel if that order is a joke.

All these “commandments” are addressed first to the parent. But they are to be referred to by teachers and educators as well. Along with the parents, they will settle upon an attitude and strategy for the education and growth of the child, so that they can give him all the things he needs to properly develop emotional and physically.