她变得不再开心

有人说做女人不容易，那时我对这还没有太多想法
直到最近，才真正了解做女人真的很难，尤其在有了自己的家庭孩子以后

女人的一生都奉献给她的家庭
在做任何事情前第一个想到的不是她自己，是她的丈夫孩子
没有了自己的社交圈子，没有了自己的私人时间
有的只是做也做不完的家务，有的只是没完没了的责任
照顾丈夫，照顾孩子的责任
现代女性更要出外工作分担家用
所承受的压力是无法想象的
就因为男人自私的想法
他们不能理解为何太太会发脾气
他们不能理解为何太太喜欢无理取闹

可恨的是
身边的男人却一点也不了解自己的付出
只认为自己赚钱回来就很了不起
只认为自己在外头工作已经很压力
却往往没有想到
妻子承受的压力比他更多

其实
女人要的
也只是另一半对自己的关怀，真挚的关心问候
不是区情假意或敷衍的回应

弄到最后
女人变得面目全非
女人开始怀疑她为何要这样糟蹋自己，开始怀疑当初的决定是否正确
开始渐渐地失去了昔日的幸福模样
她变得不再开心
每天只是空有虚壳的生活着，只是忙碌的为家庭付出着

那，请问
结婚的意义又在哪啊？

(载自threeSIXTYº miracles) 

My Family My Everything

妻子的空位 (The irreplaceable void)

是一篇很值得分享的故事

A story worth sharing

我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet? and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries.?After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去
看才藝表演的日子。

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was :? The letters were for Mummy.

當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。

And one of the letters broke my heart....

親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a? 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.? I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?


讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


給 已經結婚的女同事：

不要加太多班，工作做不完，一定是公司的某些地方出問題了，一定要將問題反應給妳的老闆，一直加班也不見的有用的，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝。

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

給 已經結婚的男同事：

不要喝太多酒，不要抽太多煙，請問我們的生意，我們的客戶，有比我們的身體重要嗎？
一定要想一想，有沒有辦法做到客人非我們不行，我們的差異化在哪裡，我們是否真的懂客人的心，這比拼命喝酒，還重要，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝和你的愛人。

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

給 還沒有結婚的男同事和女同事：

美其實是從愛自己的身體開始 --（蔣勳，身體美學）。
無入而不自得 -- （孔子）。

妳/你們一定要很自在，工作才能做的好，如果工作讓你/妳們的心情做的很辛苦，代表的是我們的公司不夠聰明，那也是公司什麼地方不對了，要勇敢的說出來，不要讓不聰明的工作與老闆，傷害了妳/你們的身體。

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

Common Marriage Problems

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.

It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think I don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.

And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.

What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.

Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.

So just how do you actually do that? Saving a marriage is both simple and complex.

It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.

For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.

After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.

However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.

You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.

Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.

Do you believe in Ghost?

I feel creepy when I am trying to recall and tell this story.

Amanda asked me this question few nights ago after I have turned off all the lights except the one in the bedroom. "Mommy, do you think that I did any bad things in the past?"
And my answer to her was, "Of course no, why?"
Amanda then said, "Then, how come I always feel that 'someone' is following me?"
This really shocked me and my immediate reaction was, "What! Somebody is following you? When? Who? Was it in school?"

Amanda's answer really made me feel creepy, "Just now, when I follow you to toilet. I sense that 'someone' if tailing me."
Then I asked again, "Do you feel the same during the day? How about in school? How about when you are in Grandma's house? Since when you have this kind of feeling?"

She answered, "It only happens when the sky turns dark. Like during night time, or when heavy rain."
"This happened for quite sometimes already, somewhere in August but I didn't tell you."

My creepy feeling made me uneasy and the first thing come to my mind was "GHOST". You know it's still Ghost month. Though today is the last day of that month.

I remembered the night before Amanda asked me this question, she woke up in the middle of the night and showed some strange behavior and unfamiliar gaze.
I tried to call her name, but she was not responding. Then I quickly patted her face lightly to try to "wake" her up.

Now, when I reflect back the scene, it is still eerie.

I don't know about you, but I truly believe the existence of Ghost. I will bring her to a temple this weekend. Maybe she had accidentally offended those "dirty stuff".

Sharing is loving, loving is sharing

Talking is one way to share thoughts and feelings between partners. Research has shown that women actually talk more than men, in fact about three times more in terms of the number of words.

This fact does not excuse men to from not talk. It is the men who “clam up” and refuse to talk. There are also cases where men who do more talking than women, just as there are cases where it is the women who talk a lot as well as those women who do not wish to talk a lot. There is actually no clear cut or fool proof way to judge who should do more of the talking or who should do less. It is primarily not about gender but about the individual themselves.

Communication is a vital part of any relationship. Openness and honesty is a key ingredient to maintaining a kind of memorable relationship that is mutually loving and emotionally comfortable.

The following are tips and possible activities one can do to get yourself or your partner to talk his/her heart out, and share voluntarily any fears and insecurities that either feels. Conversation helps partners form a solid bond that will not be easily eroded. This is vital especially in your effort to saving a marriage.

Ask and you shall receive

The best and simplest way to get a person to talk is by asking a question. It is best if the partner asks his/her partner how the day went or how they feel.

Often it is best that partners ask each these questions after hours they have been apart most of the day; after work or after a long business trip, etc. But do not forget it is also important to ask sincerely looking straight into their eyes. Ask how he or she is feeling or has he/she experienced something they want to share? Sometimes the partner may not want to talk. Relax, let it be and be patient. Relationships are nurtured by respecting another’s decision - everything has its own proper time and place. Do not force it.

Let him or her finish

A very annoying habit some partners have is finishing the other partner’s sentences. Though you may have good intentions, when you think you are helping, the fact is – doing so creates the impression that the partner is getting impatient with the verbally challenged approach to sentence construction. The partner being corrected could either find this act rude.

Go with the flow. Trust your partner’s judgment and verbal prowess. He or she will thank you for it in the long run.

Stop, look and listen

The most important advice anyone could receive is irrelevant if the one receiving the advice is not listening. They key to communication is in listening just as much as it is in the talking.

One partner sometimes gets the other to talk by simply listening intently to what the other is saying. This gives the impression that what the other is saying is important. Verbal signals are just as important as non-verbal ones. Active listening is a good practice any time. It breaks down barriers and puts down any or all reservations one partner may have. But do not just listen, value what the other partner is saying. All it really takes is an ear and a heart to validate another’s existence.

In summary, fears and insecurities are a part of everyone’s psyche. All one has to do is to share it in order to lighten any emotional load he or she may be carrying. But it is also similarly important that the one it is being shared with is listening and genuinely cares what the other is talking about. Sharing makes everyone human and humane. And it is a valuable gift that both women and men must cherish.

Meet My Girls

Time really flies. Compare these photos with the one on the sidebar, the girls have grown up a lot. And.. I must have grown older as well... how reluctant...

習慣，就是時間累積而來的一種動作

早上，我總是走進7-eleven。

走了走，東選西選，還是選回了每天吃的三明治。

進到辦公室坐下後，總是開了機收信，然後放歌，

看了看，上選下選，還是聽起了那首最愛聽的。

開始寫程式前，總是洗了洗杯子走近飲水機，

看著瓶瓶罐罐，最後還是拿了一包就走。

人生總有很多的選擇。

每天要面對的選擇，很多。

吃什麼，做什麼，玩什麼，看什麼....

雖然你每天都在做選擇。

不過，總是...總是...會選回你每次選的那個。

因為習慣。

習慣，是時間累積而來的一種動作。

情人間常說：「我對你不再有愛，都變成了習慣了。」

其實，習慣並沒有什麼不好。

它讓你自然的去做。

自然的去想他，自然的去愛他。

當你已經不覺得自己在付出時，

也許你覺得，你己開始習慣，有他陪伴在你的生命中，

那才是真的愛。

有什麼不好？

我一直認為

很多事情開始要一個人獨自去做時

就失去它的意義：

當習慣了兩個人一起吃飯
習慣了兩個人一起看書
習慣了兩個人一起工作
習慣了兩個人一起散步
習慣了兩個人一起回家
習慣了兩個人一起聊天
習慣了兩個人一起商量事情
習慣了兩個人一起發呆
習慣了兩個人一起喝咖啡
習慣了兩個人一起..........

開始一個人

很多快樂都不再了...

請珍惜你身邊所有

把握任何一個美麗的機會

失去了就不再了...

現在請你回想一下

你習慣的那個人，是不是讓你感覺很熟悉，就像家人一樣？

這種感覺，不是那麼容易就可以擁有的，應該好好的珍惜。

也許有天你失去了，才會明白這個人，在你的心理是佔了很大的位置。

好緣份是很神奇的東西，它只送給用心去經營的人。

最近你是否不再那麼用心，去關心或態度冷淡了嗎???

趕快去抓住你那個熟悉的人吧，必竟你們曾經走過那一段，不是嗎？

When you don't have a choice

What would you do when you don't have a choice?

I know better than anyone else, it is not the best option. I can't sacrifice the innocent. But I was left with no choice, what else can I do.

I am not sure whether I will regret it in future, but for the time being, this is the best I can do. Hope everything will be fine.

Have you found yourself in the same situation like mine, left with no choice. Mind to share with me your story?

谁要是娶这种妻子就不配做男人！

媳妇说："煮淡一点你就嫌没有味道，现在煮咸一点你却说咽不下。你究竟怎想怎么样？"

母亲一见儿子回来，二话不说便把饭菜往嘴里送。

她怒瞪他一眼。他试了一口，马上吐出来， 儿子说："我不是说过了吗，妈有病不能吃太咸！"

"那好！妈是你的，以后由你来煮！"媳妇怒气冲冲地回房。

儿子无奈地轻叹一声，然后对母亲说："妈，别吃了，我去煮个面给你？"

"仔，你是不是有话想跟妈说，是就说好了，别憋在心里！"

"妈，公司下个月升我职，我会很忙，至于老婆，她说很想出来工作，所以......"

母亲马上意识到儿子的意思："仔，不要送妈去老人院。"声音似乎在哀求。

儿子沉默片刻，他是在寻找更好的理由。 "妈，其实老人院并没有甚么不好？知道老婆一但工作，一定没有时间好好服侍。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顾， 不是比在家里好得多吗？"

"可是，阿财叔他......"

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗方便面，儿子便到书房去。他茫然地伫立于窗前，有些犹豫不决。母亲年轻便守寡，含辛茹苦将他抚养成人，供他出国读书。但她从不用年轻时的牺牲当作要胁他孝顺的筹码，反而是妻子以婚姻要胁他！真的要让母亲住老人院吗？他问自己，他有些不忍。

"可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，难道是你妈吗？"阿财叔的儿子总是这样提醒他。

"你妈都这么老了，好命的话可以活多几年，为何不趁这几年好好孝顺她呢？树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在啊！"亲戚总是这样劝他。

儿子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的会改变初衷。

晚，太阳收敛起灼热的金光，躲在山后憩息。一间建在郊外山岗的一座贵族老人院。

是的，钱用得越多，儿子才心安理得。当儿子领着母亲步入大厅时，崭新的电视机，42英寸的荧幕正播放着一部喜剧，但观众一点笑声也没有。

几个衣着一样，发型一样的老妪歪歪斜斜地坐在发沙上，神情呆滞而落寞。有个老人在自言自语，有个正缓缓弯下腰，想去捡掉在地上的一块饼干吃。 儿子知道母亲喜欢光亮，所以为她选了一间阳光充足的房间。从窗口望出去，树荫下，一片芳草如茵。几名护士推着坐在轮椅的老者在夕阳下散步，四周悄然寂静得令人心酸。纵是夕阳无限好，毕竟已到了黄昏，他心中低低叹息。

"妈，我......我要走了！"母亲只能点头。他走时，母亲频频挥手，她张着没有牙的嘴，苍白干燥的咀唇在嗫嚅着，一副欲语还休的样子。儿子这才注意到母亲银灰色的头发，深陷的眼窝以及打着细褶的皱脸。母亲，真的老了！

他霍然记起一则儿时旧事。那年他才6岁，母亲有事回乡，不便携他同行，于是把他寄住在阿财叔家几天。母亲临走时，他惊恐地抱着母亲的腿不肯放，伤心大声号哭道："妈妈不要丢下我！妈妈不要走！" 最后母亲没有丢下他。他连忙离开房间，顺手把门关上，不敢回头，深恐那记忆像鬼魅似地追缠而来。

他回到家，妻子与岳母正疯狂的把母亲房里的一切扔个不亦乐乎。身高3英寸的奖杯──那是他小学作文比赛《我的母亲》第1名的胜利品！华英字典──那是母亲整个月省吃省用所买给他的第1份生日礼物！还有母亲临睡前要擦的风湿油，没有他为她擦，带去老人院又有甚么意义呢？

"够了，别再扔了！"儿子怒吼道。

"这么多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎么放得下我的东西。" 岳母没好气地说。

"就是嘛！你赶快把你妈那张烂床给抬出去，我明天要为我妈添张新的！"

一堆童年的照片展现在儿子眼前，那是母亲带他到动物园和游乐园拍的照片。

"它们是我妈的财产，一样也不能丢！"

"你这算甚态度？对我妈这么大声，我要你向我妈道歉！" (楼主注：这算什么儿子，把自己的母亲送到养老院，然后把岳母接来住，要就一起去送，要就留自己的母亲）

"我娶你就要爱你的母亲，为甚么？嫁给我就不能爱我的母亲？"

雨后的黑夜分外冷寂，街道萧瑟，行人车辆格外稀少。一辆宝马在路上飞驰，频频闯红灯，陷黄格，呼一声又飞驰而过。那辆轿车一路奔往山岗上的那间老人院，停车直奔上楼，推开母亲卧房的门。他幽灵似地站着，母亲正抚摸着风湿痛的双腿低泣。 她见到儿子手中正拿着那瓶风湿油，显然感到安慰的说："妈忘了带，幸好你拿来！"他走到母亲身边，跪了下来。 "很晚了，妈自己擦可以了，你明天还要上班，回去吧！"

他嗫嚅片刻，终于忍不住啜泣道："妈，对不起，请原谅我！我们回家去吧！"

～～后语～～

随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发,动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需要停泊岸时，才会想起他们......

其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候 「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。

朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以感恩之心孝顺父母！

～共勉之～

生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！

老人安养院墙上发现的一篇文章


孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想......极 可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出 来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现 在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心 头。

孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。

若为人子女也不懂得如何体谅他们，那他们便只能于痛苦中渡过余生，黑暗中逝去......

请把此文章转发给您的朋友，让他们知道家人才是最重要的。爱情可以重新再找寻，但父母一生却只有一个，要珍惜、珍重。

如果此贴让你感动，如果你是一个孝顺有良知的人，如果你想老爸老妈有个幸福的晚年就转帖吧 。祝转帖的朋友的父母--身体健康，长命百岁，一生平安！！！！！！

I rather sleep on the floor

This morning, you show your black face again complaining the deprive of sleep and blaming me of setting the alarm at 5am to do the bed sheet laundry.

Why must I suffer myself to wake up early at 5am just to do the laundry? You think I like to torture myself? You know we have very limited space in our balcony to dry a queen-size bed sheet. What we can do is to wash it and bring it over to your mom's house to dry. And you are so fussy to stop me from washing the bed sheet overnight and leave it in the washing machine until the next day, saying it's not hygienic. So, what other option I am left with if not to wash it early in the morning. Then you ask, why can't I do it around 6am? Can, of course can if only you don't complain about the water pressure being too low when you take your morning shower. Or else, I will have to pause the process and wait till you are done with your shower before resuming the washing process. By then, do you think we are still leave the house on time at 6.40am? So now, you tell me am I doing all these for fun?

I really feel pressured sleeping next to you. You being so sensitive, would be awaken by a single tiny movement. You know what, I hardly turn my body during my sleep next to you, and this makes my body aches the next morning I wake up. Sometimes I would rather exchange place with the girls to sleep on the floor. That gives me lots of freedom and I can sleep with whatever position I like. But the funny thing is even the girls are reluctant to sleep next to you, as you have scolded them for turning their body too much. I guess we don't deserve that from you. Everyone has the right to turn their body to find the most comfortable position to sleep with. We don't complain about you when you snore, cough, clearing your throat, or turning your body. Why can't you treat us like how we treat you? Please be fair. Otherwise you will end up sleeping alone.

Ok back to the alarm clock. Because sleeping next to you, I have to be very alert with the alarm clock and make sure I stop the alarm the moment it let out the first beep. And still you complain. I wonder didn't I have done enough. I wonder how much more I can take. Or maybe you are fated to sleep alone in your bed.

I think I shall start decorating the second room for the girls and myself...

Do you feel pressure living with your spouse?

Sometimes, I feel tremendous pressure living with you. And most of the times, when we were in an argument, I'll always be the losing end especially when it comes to money matters. Sometimes I even doubt why you fight so much when in fact I will be the one that fork out the money.

Like the recent case, when I again suggested to seek for Chinese traditional medical treatment for Amanda's stubborn cough. And you like the previous you, again and again you criticize how expensive is the Chinese medicine and how ineffective the Chinese traditional treatment, and how long it will take to cure the sickness with Chinese herbs. Hello, I have told you that I will bear all the treatment fees and what I need from you is your support and your time to fetch us there and probably to have to wait for us. Is that too much to ask from?

Sometimes I even doubt how much care do you have about us besides yourself? Don't you think if someone have been coughing for almost a month now and doesn't seem to recover over the western medicines given by a number of doctors, you should be very worrying by now? What's more, she is just a kid, a 7 years old kid. Don't you worry her cough will eventually turns into asthma? Or you won't give a damn as long as your pocket is not burnt?

What's wrong to try out people's recommendation when there is a fair chance of curing Amanda's stubborn cough? People recommend because they have good experience with Chinese medication. Every Chinese should know that these Chinese herbs are not magic pills that cure illness in a blink. But they treat the illness by curing the root cause which is very important to prevent the illness from coming back again. I wonder how much you understand about Chinese traditional medication?

Sometimes I give up arguing with you when comes to this Chinese medication issue. I rather to trouble my dad and mom or even my brother to fetch us for the treatment than arguing and explaining all this to you. You see how fed up I am with you.

Little Cough-Prone Girl

Amanda is very prone to cough since she's still a baby. And the cough could last for weeks. Recently she has developed a really bad cough that interrupt her sleep badly. I can even hear the coarseness in her breathing. We brought her to see doctor on Tuesday and that's when I discovered her eyes were getting red, I can clearly see those tiny red vein in the white parts of her eyes.


According to doctor, it is associated with the cold she has developed, sort of virus infection. Doctor prescribed some cough syrup, medicine to reduce phlegm, and eye drop. But the cough syrup doesn't seem to work, her cough is getting worst and same goes for the eye-drop. Her eyes are getting redder with excessive sticky and crusty eye discharge that glue her eyes shut when she falls asleep.


We'll bring her for a second visit to doctor soon this evening when she is back from school. Don't ask why we're so cruel to force her to school with this alarming condition. She herself ask for it. She wanted to go to school so badly - all thanks to the Chinese school teachers and the tons of homework.


She was on sick leave on Tuesday when I found her not getting enough sleep the night before due to violent cough. Guess what she got from school on Wednesday when she was feeling better to attend school. 7 homework with few pages each, inclusive of those she missed on Tuesday. Imagine how a little girl like Amanda able to cope while she has yet to fully recover from the illness - to finish all 7 homework. Not to mentioned she reached home around 7.20pm.


So, today she insisted to go to school for scare that she might get homework piled up if she misses any, which is totally understandable. I tell her, never mind, two more days to go, then you will have a week break. Hopefully she is doing OK in school today.

This is what marriage is really all about . . .

One day we saw an old couple in a fast food restaurant. The old man ordered one hamburger, one French fries and one drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it into half. He placed one half in front of his
wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them
kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, 'That poor old
couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries, hubby went over to their table. He politely offered to
buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were
used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again hubby went over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing
everything.'

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, hubby again went over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of the food and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . 'THE TEETH'

My Valentines' Day Bouquet

My Valentines' Day bouquet received much earlier this year unexpectedly on the 15th of Chinese Lunar calendar. Yes, it's on Chap Goh May itself. Chap Goh Mei too is a Valentines' Day for Chinese.

This is the first time I received Daisy flower. According to the flower meaning, daisy represents purity and innocence, cheerfulness, loyal love. Daisy is often used while confessing undying love.

Here's my Daisy bouquet:

Close-up view

Side view

Top view

My girls posing with my Valentines' Day Bouquet - 1st take

2nd take with their lovely smiles

To my dear hubby, thank you for your thoughtfulness and your love and caring. We both know that we are meant for each other. But I'm still scratching my head now wondering what surprise to give you on this special Valentines' Day. Any idea anyone?

Actually I have compiled a list of possible surprises for my dear hubby, maybe you can decide for me which one is better.

Gift Ideas for my man:

1. A tie possibly
2. Leather wallet
3. Belt
4. Home-cooked candle light dinner
5. Shoes (kenot, people say hor cannot give shoes as present to your couple, or else they will become run-away wife / hubby / girlfriend / boyfriend)
6. A car (i mean toy car)
7. Toiletries
8. Undies
9. Watch (too expensive)
10. Electric shavers (yes, he's still using manual shaver, a loyal customer of Gillette)
11. A massage treat (those genuine one lah of course)
12. A facial treat
13. Ferrero Rocher Chocolate (no, that's for me)
14. Sunglasses
15. Memory Foam pillow
16. Books (yes he loves books)
17. A Seminar ticket (he simply loves attending seminar)
18. A Love Letter (from me of course)
19. A manicure / pedicure treat (no lah, just kidding, this is for ladies)
20. Parkson voucher (let him choose his gift)

Anymore ideas anyone? Hope your suggestions won't be too late for me as tomorrow is 14th February - Valentines' Day.

Happy Valentines' Day Everyone. For those singles, do enjoy your day with your beloved single friends and family especially your parents.

Happy Valentines' Day again !!

Photos taken with Mom... ladies only

This photo taken during CNY 2009 at mom's house. It was late at night, dad was dozing off, that explained why he was not in the picture. Amanda was at the extreme left, where only her left hand seen. She refused to pose, so Edward (my bro-in-law) excluded her in the picture. That little girl at right is Olivia. I sat next to my mom with my straight hair. My sisters have permed their hair and that look really nice on them. I wonder how I look in curly hair. Don't you think that we sisters and mom do look alike!

This was taken in November 2007 during dad's birthday celebration. See how naughty is Olivia's expression. The cute girl in pink jacket is Amanda.

This photo taken with Angela joining us. Angela - my youngest sister.

I slept in the living room last night

Was having bad cough last night.

Taken 2-tablespoon of cough syrup before bed, but woke up middle of the night around 3am to weewee, my cough started again.

Being a caring and considerate wife + mom (ahem), i closed my mouth with both my hands to tahan the cough until I was out of the room. what a relieve when you can cough out loud to soothe the itching throat.

Then i went back to the room thinking to continue my good night sleep, who knows, the moment i lied down, my throat started to itch again. so again, i kena tahan my cough until i was out in the living room to cough sepuas-puas nya. this repeated few times until myself cannot take it.

Then i decided might as well sleep in the living room. and slowly i moved my pillow and blanket out to the living room. before i tucked myself into the blanket again, i quickly took 2-tablespoon of cough syrup to stop the itchy throat from calling me up again. that's how i ended up woke up in the living room this morning all by myself. so lonely.

Busy, busy, busy (updated)

Sorry for the lack of update recently. I am super duper busy these few weeks with the new school academic year started.


My Amanda is now in primary Year 1, she looked so cute and 'dai gou lui' in her pinafore. Will upload her photo soon. Here's her photo in primary uniform.


I have been off for few days to accompany her to her new school in SS2, yes, it is SRJK(C) Puay Chai. Do not why this time Amanda got so emo and panic. She burst into tears for the first 2 days in the school. The first day was the orientation day on 31-Dec, when she thought we have left the school and leaving her alone in the hall with a bunch of little strangers. Haha.. Reason being, she saw her dad peeping around by the door and she didn't seem to see me. So, that very first thought came into her mind was... we were leaving.


The second time was on the first day in school which was on 05-Jan. We didn't fetch her to school that very first day, we let her go with the tranporter lady whom we arrange to fetch her to and fro and from school. And I told her that I will go to her school to look for her later. God, who knows, she thought I will be in her school waiting for her to reach school. (blink~blink). So, when she reached the school and couldn't find me, she burst into tears again. Oh gosh, what happened to you my darling. You are always the cheerful type, and you didn't get panic the firtst day to kindie.


Luckily everything goes fine now, and she seems to getting happier each time coming back from school though it's tiring for her.


Will write another post about my Olivia's school venture. Stay tuned...

Marriage: From Blah to Ooh-Lala!

When one is younger, he or she might have thought how wonderful it would be to get married. Of course, it is wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work and there will even be a time when leaving will look like a nice option.

To married couples out there, you must remember to look for ways to improve your relationship. Here are some tips that could make the marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating.

1. Forgive.

Okay, there will always be disagreements in a relationship. But there is also something known as forgiveness that could immediately smooth the situation in an instant. Married couples must never harbor grudges.

2. Respect and honesty in the key.

If there is no respect and honesty in a marriage in the first place, why are you still together?

3. Remember the power of humor.

A married couple must take time to share jokes and other crazy antics to decrease tension. Remember, laughter is healing.

4. Communicate effectively.

If the wife is feeling upset by something the husband said she must be able to tell him that right away. Communication is very important in any relationship.

5. Decide together.

For things concerning finances, children's education and upbringing, delegation of household chores, the couple must decide together. One must not be superior over the other.

6. Don't forget the simple, small things.

For the husband, he must remember to compliment her and praise her for a job well done. For the wife, she must be attentive to her husband's needs. They must enjoy each other's company. Showing affection one for another is essential.

7. Stay in love.

It is easier said than done, but each has to remember that marriage is one hundred percent love. The two of you must enjoy every new discovery and every new day.

8. Stay intimate.

Yes, intimacy and sex must not waver as the time goes on. As long as the couple feels that they still have a strong attraction and affection for each other, the marriage would be fulfilled.

Marriage is wonderful and a bit complicated. But as long as the partners know that they have each other to hold on to, it should be a rewarding relationship. They would be there for each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and til death do them part”.

Good Answers to Some Hard Money Questions from Kids

Q: How much do you make?

A: That's personal information - like the content of your phone calls or diary. It's rude to ask people about their salary and unwise to share that information freely. We do well and we're happy. That's what matters.

Q: Can I buy it myself?

A: Sure, but I'm not giving you more pocket money if you run out. Think about how much use or joy you'll get from the purchase, keeping in mind that without a way to earn more money, your savings will de depleted. It's your call.

Q: Why does my friend get more pocket money?

A: We believe the amount you get is fair. You can always work around the house or in the neighborhood to earn more. If you want to show us how you're spending it, maybe we can squeeze a little more out of it.