她变得不再开心

有人说做女人不容易，那时我对这还没有太多想法
直到最近，才真正了解做女人真的很难，尤其在有了自己的家庭孩子以后

女人的一生都奉献给她的家庭
在做任何事情前第一个想到的不是她自己，是她的丈夫孩子
没有了自己的社交圈子，没有了自己的私人时间
有的只是做也做不完的家务，有的只是没完没了的责任
照顾丈夫，照顾孩子的责任
现代女性更要出外工作分担家用
所承受的压力是无法想象的
就因为男人自私的想法
他们不能理解为何太太会发脾气
他们不能理解为何太太喜欢无理取闹

可恨的是
身边的男人却一点也不了解自己的付出
只认为自己赚钱回来就很了不起
只认为自己在外头工作已经很压力
却往往没有想到
妻子承受的压力比他更多

其实
女人要的
也只是另一半对自己的关怀，真挚的关心问候
不是区情假意或敷衍的回应

弄到最后
女人变得面目全非
女人开始怀疑她为何要这样糟蹋自己，开始怀疑当初的决定是否正确
开始渐渐地失去了昔日的幸福模样
她变得不再开心
每天只是空有虚壳的生活着，只是忙碌的为家庭付出着

那，请问
结婚的意义又在哪啊？

(载自threeSIXTYº miracles) 

Common Marriage Problems

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.

It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think I don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.

And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.

What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.

Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.

So just how do you actually do that? Saving a marriage is both simple and complex.

It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.

For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.

After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.

However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.

You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.

Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.

Sharing is loving, loving is sharing

Talking is one way to share thoughts and feelings between partners. Research has shown that women actually talk more than men, in fact about three times more in terms of the number of words.

This fact does not excuse men to from not talk. It is the men who “clam up” and refuse to talk. There are also cases where men who do more talking than women, just as there are cases where it is the women who talk a lot as well as those women who do not wish to talk a lot. There is actually no clear cut or fool proof way to judge who should do more of the talking or who should do less. It is primarily not about gender but about the individual themselves.

Communication is a vital part of any relationship. Openness and honesty is a key ingredient to maintaining a kind of memorable relationship that is mutually loving and emotionally comfortable.

The following are tips and possible activities one can do to get yourself or your partner to talk his/her heart out, and share voluntarily any fears and insecurities that either feels. Conversation helps partners form a solid bond that will not be easily eroded. This is vital especially in your effort to saving a marriage.

Ask and you shall receive

The best and simplest way to get a person to talk is by asking a question. It is best if the partner asks his/her partner how the day went or how they feel.

Often it is best that partners ask each these questions after hours they have been apart most of the day; after work or after a long business trip, etc. But do not forget it is also important to ask sincerely looking straight into their eyes. Ask how he or she is feeling or has he/she experienced something they want to share? Sometimes the partner may not want to talk. Relax, let it be and be patient. Relationships are nurtured by respecting another’s decision - everything has its own proper time and place. Do not force it.

Let him or her finish

A very annoying habit some partners have is finishing the other partner’s sentences. Though you may have good intentions, when you think you are helping, the fact is – doing so creates the impression that the partner is getting impatient with the verbally challenged approach to sentence construction. The partner being corrected could either find this act rude.

Go with the flow. Trust your partner’s judgment and verbal prowess. He or she will thank you for it in the long run.

Stop, look and listen

The most important advice anyone could receive is irrelevant if the one receiving the advice is not listening. They key to communication is in listening just as much as it is in the talking.

One partner sometimes gets the other to talk by simply listening intently to what the other is saying. This gives the impression that what the other is saying is important. Verbal signals are just as important as non-verbal ones. Active listening is a good practice any time. It breaks down barriers and puts down any or all reservations one partner may have. But do not just listen, value what the other partner is saying. All it really takes is an ear and a heart to validate another’s existence.

In summary, fears and insecurities are a part of everyone’s psyche. All one has to do is to share it in order to lighten any emotional load he or she may be carrying. But it is also similarly important that the one it is being shared with is listening and genuinely cares what the other is talking about. Sharing makes everyone human and humane. And it is a valuable gift that both women and men must cherish.

This is what marriage is really all about . . .

One day we saw an old couple in a fast food restaurant. The old man ordered one hamburger, one French fries and one drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it into half. He placed one half in front of his
wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them
kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, 'That poor old
couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries, hubby went over to their table. He politely offered to
buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were
used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again hubby went over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing
everything.'

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, hubby again went over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of the food and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . 'THE TEETH'

Best Divorce Reply

Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw..

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk panties. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your shows.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-wife

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to Spain together! Have a great life!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Dear EX-wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy'! Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating meat seven years ago.

About those new silk panties: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your EX-husband, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem

Marriage: From Blah to Ooh-Lala!

When one is younger, he or she might have thought how wonderful it would be to get married. Of course, it is wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work and there will even be a time when leaving will look like a nice option.

To married couples out there, you must remember to look for ways to improve your relationship. Here are some tips that could make the marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating.

1. Forgive.

Okay, there will always be disagreements in a relationship. But there is also something known as forgiveness that could immediately smooth the situation in an instant. Married couples must never harbor grudges.

2. Respect and honesty in the key.

If there is no respect and honesty in a marriage in the first place, why are you still together?

3. Remember the power of humor.

A married couple must take time to share jokes and other crazy antics to decrease tension. Remember, laughter is healing.

4. Communicate effectively.

If the wife is feeling upset by something the husband said she must be able to tell him that right away. Communication is very important in any relationship.

5. Decide together.

For things concerning finances, children's education and upbringing, delegation of household chores, the couple must decide together. One must not be superior over the other.

6. Don't forget the simple, small things.

For the husband, he must remember to compliment her and praise her for a job well done. For the wife, she must be attentive to her husband's needs. They must enjoy each other's company. Showing affection one for another is essential.

7. Stay in love.

It is easier said than done, but each has to remember that marriage is one hundred percent love. The two of you must enjoy every new discovery and every new day.

8. Stay intimate.

Yes, intimacy and sex must not waver as the time goes on. As long as the couple feels that they still have a strong attraction and affection for each other, the marriage would be fulfilled.

Marriage is wonderful and a bit complicated. But as long as the partners know that they have each other to hold on to, it should be a rewarding relationship. They would be there for each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and til death do them part”.