女人要精致地活着

　
“人生最大的幸福，是发现自己爱的人正好也爱着自己。喜欢一个人，会卑微到尘埃里，然后开出花来”张爱玲道。

自古红颜多薄命。天若有情天亦老，更何况弱女子？思君让人老！今春，香肌瘦几分，带宽三寸。

纵观古今，女人总逃不过“情”字。无论伟大或卑微。女人是小鸟，永远逃不出男人编制的情网。任自己枯萎，凋谢，却换不回男人的一次回眸，一滴眼泪。

女人只是男人路上的驿站，男人一生要经过多少驿站，他们自己也不知道。总在不但地寻觅，新的驿站总在前方。像林徽因这么幸福的女人几乎史无前例。遇上了金岳霖，原为她苦守一生。还有徐志摩为她留下的千古绝唱：再别康桥！

张爱玲，一代才女，不顾政治和他有妻室，投入他的怀抱，为他提供才及财，最终被弃，孤寂地死去。这方面应学张幼仪，被抛弃时，不卑不亢，自强不息，虽没赢得故人的爱，但赢得了他的尊重。

女人应像她一样地精致地活着。

首先，注重自己的形象。不论美不美，要干净利索。一举手，一投足，要优雅得体。

有自己可受益一生的爱好，精神的琴棋书画；体力的，跳舞，乒乓等。可在无聊时，killtime!

有自己的为之奋斗的梦想！孜孜不倦，乐此不疲！偶尔有小小的成就让自己惊喜！无论他人如何认为你的梦想是多么的荒诞无稽，但它总是你平淡生活得精神支柱。

有闺中密友，抑郁时可窃窃私语，购物，咖啡，流泪，嬉笑，怒骂!

有自己的蓝颜知己，与爱情无关！与身体无关！鼓励你不但地进取，无聊时谈天说地。

有自己喜爱的职业，可养活自己，不能依赖你的男人。如果有一天他毅然离去，你的世界不至于暗无天日。

女人要爱惜自己的身体。男人无论咋伪装，最后露出是性的狰狞的面孔。女人不能靠下半身去拴住一个男人的心，需要的是智慧和才华。与其等着男人来爱自己，还不如提高自己，开辟自己的天地。好男人太少，是千百年淘不来的。其实幸福可能就在身边。

要有自己的孩子。未做母亲的女人不是一个完整的女人。为孩子付出的同时就是收获，耐心，爱心，奉献。

女人要精致地活着，为别人，更为自己！

女人的一生可以有两段婚姻？

有人说，女人的一生至少应该有两次婚姻，一次是为了家庭，一次是为了自己的生活。

我不知道这样的理论来自何方，也不知道这样的观点有什么依据？可认真仔细的揣摩后似乎感到很有些道理，绝大多数的女人结婚后都会失去自我，为家人而操心，为老公而活，为孩子而活。

女人是感情动物，现实生活中很容易受到自己情感的支配而忘乎所以，为了寻找真爱可以和心爱的男人私奔，为了自己的爱情可以毅然决然地离开自己的父母家庭，为了心中的那份感觉可以放弃舒适优越的生活环境去追求那种旁人看来很虚无飘渺的精神享受，去追寻内心深处说不清道不明的那种渴望。

毕竟，在每一位感性的女人心目中都有着一位白马王子，她们希望自己有婚姻能够上演浪漫的一幕，有的女人为了自己心目中的白马王子可以穷尽一生去追求，甚至是可以追求到心力交瘁，人老珠黄。

然而，绝大多数的女人一生中只守着一次婚姻，因此，很少有女人感到自己的一生活得很精彩。因为，在仅有的这一段婚姻选择时，女人往往只注重自己对异性的那种感觉，那种很表面很物质的东西，那种很少考虑到独立自我的婚姻。因此，女人的第一次婚姻通常都是为别人而活，把老公和孩子放大到极致而把自己忽略到细微，而且，越是传统的女人越是知性，越是把婚姻看成自己生命的责任，越是注重情感和精神层面的关爱，越是心思细腻到身边的一草一木，而等到孩子长大了才突然蓦然发觉自己的一生其实都深陷在婚姻繁琐的事务之中，忽略了自己的精神生活，忽略了女人应有的情感享受，忽略了精彩纷呈的外部世界，而这时的女人往往已经没有了激情也没有心情去追求属于自己的生活了，只得把为自己活一把的理想深藏于心了。

而假如女人可以有第二段婚姻，则可以有机会去纠正自己在第一段婚姻中所犯下的过失，绝对可以有机会找回真实生活中的自我，绝对可以规划自己精彩纷呈的生活，就算是跟着感觉走也可以是不盲目。可以在感性爆发的同时，可以执着勇敢地追求婚姻以外的幸福生活。当然，这取决于女人如何看待自己的第二段婚姻，假如植入了开放的思想观念，当女人得不到来自丈夫方面细腻和更多情感的关怀时，女人完全可以用自己的情感来寻找、充实、实践日常生活中的刺激，甚至于可以有分寸的渴望来自婚姻以外的那种慰藉。

在性的方面或许也可以成为女人选择二次婚姻的重要诱因。爱情犹如像水泥，性爱则是像钢筋，和一起叫混凝土，两者缺一不可。哪个女人不希望和一个身材玉树临风、年轻英俊的才情男子做？再看看身边的这位，两眼昏花加身材臃肿加不苟言笑，一个姿势用10年。如果再不幸碰上阳痿早泄什么的，后果更严重。现在，外界的诱惑很多，老板时刻在向着自己招手，如果仅仅是为了自己的生活了，那么，抱着享乐主义的态度逢场作戏就可以了。她们需要来自异性的宠爱，那种肌肤相亲的感觉既使是有了性的关系，也不代表就一定会以心相许，来自婚外的爱抚，有可能只是女人为了将家庭更好的维持下去的一条出路。

由此可见，女人一辈子起码可以结二次婚，第一次是为了老公和孩子，毕竟家庭在女人心目中的地位至高无上，尤其是孩子身心幸福的重要性，有时比她本人的性命还要重要。第二次婚姻应该为了自己，可以不再重复婚姻中的错误，在尽情享受性爱喜悦的同时，还可以让自己活得更加的自我，更加的精彩纷呈。

只是获得了第二次婚姻的女人要注意，千万别把自己的第二段婚姻又演变成了对第一段失败婚姻的复制品。


(载自南方报网)

做女人不要失去自我

一个女人，失掉了自我，便是失却了人生的根本，其后续的命运必然悲惨。这种活生生的例子，比比皆是，触目惊心。其实，这似乎也无关男女，每一个生存在现实社会的人，都应切记，当你爱别人，为别人奉献一切时，当留下一个“自我”的根本，至少使自己保有独立生存于社会的能力，从而保有自己一生的幸福。但因为历来女性更富爱心，更多为家庭无私奉献，更善于牺牲自己，也就更容易走进失去自我的陷阱。而且，在日益男权化的社会竞争现实面前，女性进一步沦为弱势群体，从而加剧了丧失独立性，失去自我的可能性。

台湾作家柏杨在《爱情如战争》中有一段话：“一个有头脑的太太，永不会忘记修饰自己。不知道修饰自己的女人乃一头伟大的母猪，它以为它连老命都奉献啦，应该被爱了吧，人类却是爱猫者有之，爱狗者有之，爱金丝雀、画眉者有之，而爱母猪的似乎不大多也。” 初读之，有振聋发聩之感触，伴着百感交集，热泪迸发之酸楚，当下里，深切感激柏杨老人家对普天下劳苦妇女一番真诚至极、痛心疾首的警示，感觉实乃醒世恒言也，由此，加倍地敬佩这位勇敢而伟大的作家。

早年读过梁晓声的《假若我是女人》留下深刻印象。他说：“假若我是一个寻常的女人，我将一再地提醒和告诫自己——绝不用全部的心思去爱任何一个男人。用三分之一的心思就不算负情于他们了。另外三分之一的心思，去爱世界和生活本身。用最后的三分之一心思爱自己。不自爱的人无自尊可言。唯爱自己的人，才能获得别人的真爱。”八年前，我初读这段话，感触良久。大名鼎鼎的作家梁晓声，他在文学界的成就和地位，我不敢妄言，他的小说《今夜有暴风雪》、《雪城》，我并没有读过，仅仅因为这段话，我便把他奉若神明。在我的心目中，他是一个真正伟大的男人。因为，首先他是一个不自私自利的男人，其二他是一个心地善良、公平公正的男人，其三他是一个切身地体恤女性的有良知的男人，由此，我衷心地感谢他，尊敬他，赞美他，并希望有朝一日能够见到他，亲口告知他，一个普通女性对他的敬意和感谢。

近读丁玲的《三八节有感》，文章写于1942年的战争年代，可能因为作家自身是女人的缘故吧，所以更深切地了解和懂得女人的弱点和痛苦，文中所言句句中肯实在，感人至深，对女同胞可谓谆谆教诲，体恤到骨子里，细细读来，体贴、关怀之情溢于字里行间，有出自肺腑进入肺腑之刻骨铭心感，不愧为一代伟大的女性领袖。她说：“世界上从没有无能的人有资格去获取一切，所以女人要取得平等，得首先强己。”忠告女性要自强、要自立。

我不违言，“爱”是女人一生生活的主题。女人需要“爱”，需要爱别人，需要被人爱。这是其母性、妻性、女儿性的本能所决定的。但奉劝所有的女性，在爱子女、爱丈夫、爱父母、爱家庭的同时，不能牺牲自我，要自私一点地去“爱”别人。人必须先保有自我，才能保有获得别人爱的资格，当你为了别人而把自己牺牲的面目全非、一文不值的时候，你就再无资格去爱别人。因为你爱的人已经把你抛弃了。

说到底，女人需要自尊、自爱、自强、自立，只有这样，才能有明确的生活目标、有属于自己的人生梦想，才能拥有自我的人生价值，才能拥有一生的平安和幸福。

(载自红袖添香)

Meet My Girls

Time really flies. Compare these photos with the one on the sidebar, the girls have grown up a lot. And.. I must have grown older as well... how reluctant...

LIFEBOOK 2009

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile


Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least :

40. Share this with everyone you care about.

只有十句话，我却看了十分钟

第一句

如果我们之间有1000步的距离

你只要跨出第1步

我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步

第二句

通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人

才是真正爱你的人

第三句

付出真心 才会得到真心

却也可能伤得彻底

保持距离 就能保护自己

却也注定永远寂寞

第四句

有时候 不是对方不在乎你

而是你把对方看得太重

第五句

朋友就是把你看透了 还能喜欢你的人

第六句

就算是believe 中间也藏了一个lie

第七句

真正的好朋友

并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题

而是在一起 就算不说话

也不会感到尴尬

第八句

没有一百分的另一半

只有五十分的两个人

第九句

为你的难过而快乐的 是敌人

为你的快乐而快乐的 是朋友

为你的难过而难过的

就是那些 该放进心里的人

第十句

冷漠 有时候并不是无情

只是一种避免被伤害的工具


PS: 本人觉得这十句话很有深度，很有意思。认真去思考，你会得到意想不到的收获。

When you don't have a choice

What would you do when you don't have a choice?

I know better than anyone else, it is not the best option. I can't sacrifice the innocent. But I was left with no choice, what else can I do.

I am not sure whether I will regret it in future, but for the time being, this is the best I can do. Hope everything will be fine.

Have you found yourself in the same situation like mine, left with no choice. Mind to share with me your story?

This is what marriage is really all about . . .

One day we saw an old couple in a fast food restaurant. The old man ordered one hamburger, one French fries and one drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it into half. He placed one half in front of his
wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them
kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, 'That poor old
couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries, hubby went over to their table. He politely offered to
buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were
used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again hubby went over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing
everything.'

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, hubby again went over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of the food and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . 'THE TEETH'

Haih...

I wonder what happen to me. Can't seem to getting myself motivated to blog.

Have been too lazy to blog these days, though I have too much to share.

I have yet to write a post about my little Olivia's school venture, CNY preparation and celebration though it has ended peacefully this Monday, my Valentine's present that arrived earlier which caught me in surprise.

How ar... I'm too lazy these days. Can I just post photos and let the photos do the talking? Good idea?

Busy, busy, busy (updated)

Sorry for the lack of update recently. I am super duper busy these few weeks with the new school academic year started.


My Amanda is now in primary Year 1, she looked so cute and 'dai gou lui' in her pinafore. Will upload her photo soon. Here's her photo in primary uniform.


I have been off for few days to accompany her to her new school in SS2, yes, it is SRJK(C) Puay Chai. Do not why this time Amanda got so emo and panic. She burst into tears for the first 2 days in the school. The first day was the orientation day on 31-Dec, when she thought we have left the school and leaving her alone in the hall with a bunch of little strangers. Haha.. Reason being, she saw her dad peeping around by the door and she didn't seem to see me. So, that very first thought came into her mind was... we were leaving.


The second time was on the first day in school which was on 05-Jan. We didn't fetch her to school that very first day, we let her go with the tranporter lady whom we arrange to fetch her to and fro and from school. And I told her that I will go to her school to look for her later. God, who knows, she thought I will be in her school waiting for her to reach school. (blink~blink). So, when she reached the school and couldn't find me, she burst into tears again. Oh gosh, what happened to you my darling. You are always the cheerful type, and you didn't get panic the firtst day to kindie.


Luckily everything goes fine now, and she seems to getting happier each time coming back from school though it's tiring for her.


Will write another post about my Olivia's school venture. Stay tuned...

Not fair, not fair

Overheard that boss is going to give bonus and increment to the junior staff only this year. Medium and higher management will not get anything this year. Bad news for me.

Not fair. Not fair. How could this be?

We have also put in our effort (+ sweat + tears + blood) this whole year long for the company. How can we are not rewarded for the sweat? Don't our effort being appreciated? ::crying face::

Not fair, not fair. We don't mind if it is just a small token, at least to show your appreciation.

We are very cham already this year, new academic year is going to start soon, and Chinese New Year is around the corner. I know, i know it is still another one month ahead. I don't even dare to mention about Christmas, where got enough money to spend for Christmas, already spent hundreds on the kids' uniforms, school bags, shoes, stationery, workbooks. ::sobbing::

Haih... really hope that boss changes his mind -- give bonus (at least) to everyone. Everybody will be happy then. (praying hard now)

Nausea - the aftermath of coffee resumed

Did I tell you lately that I have consumed back the long-stop coffee drinking habit? It has been few months already I didn't take my usual morning / evening coffee. I used to have at least one cup of coffee, but sometimes, I get myself 2 - one in the morning, one during tea-time, around 4pm.

I began to abstain myself from taking coffee when my eczema condition exaggerates. It took months for me to heal the broken skin and the much hated itchiness. When my condition got better, my addiction to coffee came back. Natural human behavior I guess, when you don't have any health issue that bothers you, your bad habit starts to kick in naturally. Hahaha...

But weird enough that when i consumed back coffee, this "long-lost" drink kinda gives me some strange side effect - nausea. Sometimes it comes with bloated stomach too. The feeling is like morning sickness in the beginning stage of pregnancy. What a big joke, I even worry myself of getting pregnant (so coincident that my menses was late), and it is not just one time, but two times - in the month of October and November. Don't you think it is damn humorous.

Have anyone out there experiencing the same side-effect like me having nausea and bloating stomach after drinking coffee? Mind to share your story?

Touching Moments

Standing by the front window waiting for her overdue husband to return from work, she remarked to me, "I think he must be having an affair."

I replied, "You always think the worst. He's probably just had an accident."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend and his wife were considering visiting Alaska, a trip the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity and drive a dog team instead of a car.

"If we decided to live permanently away from civilization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. "You," she said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was shopping with a friend, she announced that she had found the perfect gift for her husband in the soft furnishing department. I saw that it was a cushion with a message embroidered on it that read: "I sometimes wake up grumpy in the morning. Other times I just let him lie."

Breaktime: London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Interesting and sadly very true.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.