Monday, November 9, 2009

妻子的空位 (The irreplaceable void)

是一篇很值得分享的故事

A story worth sharing

我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了,我想,妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子,她的心有何等難過呢?我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差,清晨趕出門,無法將孩子打點好就得離開家,正巧前一天有剩下的飯,我熱了蒸蛋,向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲,就出門去了。

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事,我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家,我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼,就因為身體疲累,不想吃晚餐,脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候,砰的一聲,紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單,原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡!這小子真是的,說時遲那時快,我即時拿起一個衣架,跑出去,往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打,因為我實在是太生氣了,所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候,他邊啜泣邊說了一段話,使我停了下來。

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet? and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

兒子告訴我說:「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了,晚餐在幼稚園吃了,但是到了晚上,爸爸還不回來,我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐,所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭,用熱水泡了泡麵,一個自己吃,另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉,所以我就把它放在棉被裡,等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具,所以忘了跟爸爸講。」

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚,所以衝到洗手間,將水龍頭打開,大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後,我打起精神來,一面哄著兒子,一面也在他屁股上擦藥,讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後,打開兒子的房門一看,發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲,手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久,看著這一幕。

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries.?After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

自從在一年前發生這件事之後,我為了扮演好媽媽的角色,更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了,不久後就要從幼稚園畢業,進入國小讀書。慶幸的是,兒子在這段時間毫無陰影,很開朗地成長。

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

就在不久前,我再一次打孩子,因為幼稚園來電話說,兒子沒有去學校,我心裡覺得很不安,所以早退回家,在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字,卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f,看見他站在電玩的前面,於是我很生氣,又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋,只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道,原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去
看才藝表演的日子。

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

發生這些事的幾天後,兒子回家說,他在幼稚園裡學了寫字,從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來,很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子,想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑,我就無法忍住淚水。

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

時間很快,又過了一年,到了冬天,街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲,我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候,接到一通社區郵局的電話,說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信,惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底,正是郵局最忙碌的時候,所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子,但在急忙趕回家後,叫了兒子來,我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了,卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落,不管了,自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說:「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇?」兒子哭著回答說:「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was :? The letters were for Mummy.

當時我的眼眶紅了起來,心裡很激動,但是因為在兒子面前,所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他:「那麼,為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢?」兒子回答說:「以前我要把信投進去的時候,因為個兒太矮,所以沒辦法投入,但是最近我再去郵筒時,已經搆得到了,所以我就把以前沒有寄的,一次全部都投進入了。」

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

我聽了以後,心中一片茫然,不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後,我就跟他說:「媽媽現在在天上,以後你寫完信,把信燒了,就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後,我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼,所以讀了其中的幾封信。

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。

And one of the letters broke my heart....

親愛的媽媽:
我很想念你!媽媽,今天在幼稚園有才藝表演,但是因為我沒有媽媽,所以沒有去參加,我也沒有告訴爸爸,怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我,但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子,所以故意坐在電動玩具面前,雖然爸爸罵我,但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽,我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣,我想爸爸也跟我一樣,很想念媽媽吧!但是,媽,我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽,請你讓我在夢中,再一次能夠看到你的臉,好嗎?聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺,就會夢到那個人。可是,媽媽,為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢?」

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a? 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.? I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?


讀完這封信以後,我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候,我才能填補妻子的空位呢?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


給 已經結婚的女同事:

不要加太多班,工作做不完,一定是公司的某些地方出問題了,一定要將問題反應給妳的老闆,一直加班也不見的有用的,請務必要照顧自己的身體,才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝。

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

給 已經結婚的男同事:

不要喝太多酒,不要抽太多煙,請問我們的生意,我們的客戶,有比我們的身體重要嗎?
一定要想一想,有沒有辦法做到客人非我們不行,我們的差異化在哪裡,我們是否真的懂客人的心,這比拼命喝酒,還重要,請務必要照顧自己的身體,才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝和你的愛人。

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

給 還沒有結婚的男同事和女同事:

美其實是從愛自己的身體開始 --(蔣勳,身體美學)。
無入而不自得 -- (孔子)。

妳/你們一定要很自在,工作才能做的好,如果工作讓你/妳們的心情做的很辛苦,代表的是我們的公司不夠聰明,那也是公司什麼地方不對了,要勇敢的說出來,不要讓不聰明的工作與老闆,傷害了妳/你們的身體。

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Incredible Children Performance

Incredible children performance. I couldn't believe it until I saw this. A must see video featuring performance by 2 very cute Ukraine children.

Ukraine Got Talent Cute Children Performance

Friday, September 25, 2009

10 inspirational quotes to improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It’s kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for a while… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy?

Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those, which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.” instead of looking at it all blank and murmur, “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a businessman may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. It’s about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”. For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?” I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

Monday, September 21, 2009

Impossible is Just a Word

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Common Marriage Problems

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.

It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think I don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.

And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.

What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.

Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.

So just how do you actually do that? Saving a marriage is both simple and complex.

It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.

For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.

After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.

However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.

You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.

Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Do you believe in Ghost?

I feel creepy when I am trying to recall and tell this story.

Amanda asked me this question few nights ago after I have turned off all the lights except the one in the bedroom. "Mommy, do you think that I did any bad things in the past?"
And my answer to her was, "Of course no, why?"
Amanda then said, "Then, how come I always feel that 'someone' is following me?"
This really shocked me and my immediate reaction was, "What! Somebody is following you? When? Who? Was it in school?"

Amanda's answer really made me feel creepy, "Just now, when I follow you to toilet. I sense that 'someone' if tailing me."
Then I asked again, "Do you feel the same during the day? How about in school? How about when you are in Grandma's house? Since when you have this kind of feeling?"

She answered, "It only happens when the sky turns dark. Like during night time, or when heavy rain."
"This happened for quite sometimes already, somewhere in August but I didn't tell you."

My creepy feeling made me uneasy and the first thing come to my mind was "GHOST". You know it's still Ghost month. Though today is the last day of that month.

I remembered the night before Amanda asked me this question, she woke up in the middle of the night and showed some strange behavior and unfamiliar gaze.
I tried to call her name, but she was not responding. Then I quickly patted her face lightly to try to "wake" her up.

Now, when I reflect back the scene, it is still eerie.

I don't know about you, but I truly believe the existence of Ghost. I will bring her to a temple this weekend. Maybe she had accidentally offended those "dirty stuff".

10 questions you should ask to yourself

"What Really Makes You Tick?"

Be all you can be, but it's not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?
The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?
Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?
There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?
What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

How to Gain a Shapely Waist through Yoga

The size of the waist is an indication of overall fitness for many people. Most health experts agree that a smaller waist is healthier than a big one. The reasoning behind this is that increases in fat around the waist usually result in increased health risks such as diabetes, high cholesterol and blood pressure.

In evolutionary and biological terms, a small waist signifies youth and vitality. But doing endless workouts of crunches alone will not allow you to achieve that Venus-like waist of your dreams. You will need to supplement specific waist-orientated exercises with ones from various disciplines.

Specifically you will need to work the inner girdle of muscles - commonly known as the core muscles - with slow abdominal exercises that work very deep into these muscle groups.

While usually associated with building flexibility, some specific exercises from yoga-based workouts also target the underlying core muscles around the waist.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sharing is loving, loving is sharing

Talking is one way to share thoughts and feelings between partners. Research has shown that women actually talk more than men, in fact about three times more in terms of the number of words.

This fact does not excuse men to from not talk. It is the men who “clam up” and refuse to talk. There are also cases where men who do more talking than women, just as there are cases where it is the women who talk a lot as well as those women who do not wish to talk a lot. There is actually no clear cut or fool proof way to judge who should do more of the talking or who should do less. It is primarily not about gender but about the individual themselves.

Communication is a vital part of any relationship. Openness and honesty is a key ingredient to maintaining a kind of memorable relationship that is mutually loving and emotionally comfortable.

The following are tips and possible activities one can do to get yourself or your partner to talk his/her heart out, and share voluntarily any fears and insecurities that either feels. Conversation helps partners form a solid bond that will not be easily eroded. This is vital especially in your effort to saving a marriage.

Ask and you shall receive

The best and simplest way to get a person to talk is by asking a question. It is best if the partner asks his/her partner how the day went or how they feel.

Often it is best that partners ask each these questions after hours they have been apart most of the day; after work or after a long business trip, etc. But do not forget it is also important to ask sincerely looking straight into their eyes. Ask how he or she is feeling or has he/she experienced something they want to share? Sometimes the partner may not want to talk. Relax, let it be and be patient. Relationships are nurtured by respecting another’s decision - everything has its own proper time and place. Do not force it.

Let him or her finish

A very annoying habit some partners have is finishing the other partner’s sentences. Though you may have good intentions, when you think you are helping, the fact is – doing so creates the impression that the partner is getting impatient with the verbally challenged approach to sentence construction. The partner being corrected could either find this act rude.

Go with the flow. Trust your partner’s judgment and verbal prowess. He or she will thank you for it in the long run.

Stop, look and listen

The most important advice anyone could receive is irrelevant if the one receiving the advice is not listening. They key to communication is in listening just as much as it is in the talking.

One partner sometimes gets the other to talk by simply listening intently to what the other is saying. This gives the impression that what the other is saying is important. Verbal signals are just as important as non-verbal ones. Active listening is a good practice any time. It breaks down barriers and puts down any or all reservations one partner may have. But do not just listen, value what the other partner is saying. All it really takes is an ear and a heart to validate another’s existence.

In summary, fears and insecurities are a part of everyone’s psyche. All one has to do is to share it in order to lighten any emotional load he or she may be carrying. But it is also similarly important that the one it is being shared with is listening and genuinely cares what the other is talking about. Sharing makes everyone human and humane. And it is a valuable gift that both women and men must cherish.

Crepes recipe

Ingredients:

4 egg whites.
1 cup of all-purpose flour.
1 cup of milk.
1 tablespoon of powdered sugar.
1 teaspoon of baking powder.
Pinch of salt.
Preparation Instructions:

In a bowl, sift together all of the dry ingredients, then make a well in the middle.

In a different bowl, beat the egg whites; then add the remaining liquid ingredients.

Mix the contents of the two bowls together thoroughly.


Lightly coat a frying pan or skillet with cooking oil. Heat the pan over medium-high.

Pour enough batter into the pan to make one crepe.

Cook, turning once when browned on the bottom.

Meet My Girls

Time really flies. Compare these photos with the one on the sidebar, the girls have grown up a lot. And.. I must have grown older as well... how reluctant...




Friday, September 4, 2009

Is bathroom mold bothering you?

Mold is a type of fungus that thrives on moisture. You can basically find molds anywhere, indoor and outdoor when there is moisture. Bathroom mold is a common problem in almost every household.

Bathroom molds appear as greenish or blackish patches on surfaces and walls. Bathroom provides an ideal breeding ground for mold for the fact that it is almost impossible to ensure complete dryness in bathroom. Besides that, soap scum and our body oil become the good source to feed molds.

Bathroom mold creates great hazards to our health. Exposure to bathroom mold can trigger allergic symptoms like sneezing, runny or stuffy nose, coughing, irritated eye and throat, skin rashes, etc. Certain molds can even cause asthma attack to people who are sensitive to mold spores. Therefore, bathroom mold removal and prevention are vital to ensure healthy living environment.

Bathroom mold can be easily detected by its appearance as greenish / blackish patches. Sometimes, strong musty odors do indicate the presence of hidden mold behind or inside the walls. When mold is detected, you need to act immediately to clean and stop the mold from spreading.

Make sure you put on protective gears like goggles, face mask and long rubber gloves when dealing with mold. Do not touch mold with your bare hands, they are poisonous. Examine the severity of the mold infestation. You could probably cleaning the mold yourself if the infected area is less than 10 square feet and the contamination is not serious.

Use detergent and water to brush off the surface mold. White vinegar is also helpful to remove stubborn mold stain and mold smells. Always allow the areas to dry completely after the cleaning. The key to mold control is to control the moisture level. Next, you may want to do a regular vinegar rinse for the bathroom walls to prevent mold from growing.

習慣,就是時間累積而來的一種動作

早上,我總是走進7-eleven。

走了走,東選西選,還是選回了每天吃的三明治。

進到辦公室坐下後,總是開了機收信,然後放歌,

看了看,上選下選,還是聽起了那首最愛聽的。

開始寫程式前,總是洗了洗杯子走近飲水機,

看著瓶瓶罐罐,最後還是拿了一包就走。

人生總有很多的選擇。

每天要面對的選擇,很多。

吃什麼,做什麼,玩什麼,看什麼....

雖然你每天都在做選擇。

不過,總是...總是...會選回你每次選的那個。

因為習慣。

習慣,是時間累積而來的一種動作。

情人間常說:「我對你不再有愛,都變成了習慣了。」

其實,習慣並沒有什麼不好。

它讓你自然的去做。

自然的去想他,自然的去愛他。

當你已經不覺得自己在付出時,

也許你覺得,你己開始習慣,有他陪伴在你的生命中,

那才是真的愛。

有什麼不好?

我一直認為

很多事情開始要一個人獨自去做時

就失去它的意義:

當習慣了兩個人一起吃飯
習慣了兩個人一起看書
習慣了兩個人一起工作
習慣了兩個人一起散步
習慣了兩個人一起回家
習慣了兩個人一起聊天
習慣了兩個人一起商量事情
習慣了兩個人一起發呆
習慣了兩個人一起喝咖啡
習慣了兩個人一起..........

開始一個人

很多快樂都不再了...

請珍惜你身邊所有

把握任何一個美麗的機會

失去了就不再了...

現在請你回想一下

你習慣的那個人,是不是讓你感覺很熟悉,就像家人一樣?

這種感覺,不是那麼容易就可以擁有的,應該好好的珍惜。

也許有天你失去了,才會明白這個人,在你的心理是佔了很大的位置。

好緣份是很神奇的東西,它只送給用心去經營的人。

最近你是否不再那麼用心,去關心或態度冷淡了嗎???

趕快去抓住你那個熟悉的人吧,必竟你們曾經走過那一段,不是嗎?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Health Story

I guess emotion does make a big difference on a person health. Live happily and let
go of emotional burdens.

________________________________

A forwarded e-mail for your reading.

"I would like to share with you an actual but very sad occurrence which I hope may get you guys to ponder over what constitutes anxieties, extremities and unnecessary over reactions. A long story... but worth reading for lessons learned.... you may want to pass on to others.

A friend's father who is a retiree in his mid-60s, is perfectly healthy looking and behaving normal, plays his round of golf each Sunday, does a fair bit of gardening, keeps himself busy the rest of his time helping his son's (my friend's) little retail business, and goes on
tour/trips every now and then ......

He was persuaded by his daughters and other well-wishers to go for his medical checkup which he had last done before retirement some 10 years ago. He didn't see the need to do it as he was feeling perfectly ok and healthy. Of course he didn't want to spend the money. After persistent persuasion from his family he finally gave in (his daughters agreed to foot the bill).

First his blood test revealed a total cholesterol count well above the 5.2 threshold (in fact close to 6). The doctor advised that he went for his stressed ECG test.

Again he had to be persistently persuaded to go thru that test, which he did. And it revealed some abnormality with his heart.

Now the doctor advised that he went thru angiogram. He resisted again and again after much pestering he subscribed to that invasive test.....which revealed three (3) blockages in his heart. And the doctor advised he went thru angioplasty.

This time he was adamant not to go any further. But it was like the end of the world for his family members who were all highly educated people with learned common sense. They went thru the highest mountains and deepest oceans to convince the old man to go thru angioplasty.

The surgery was successful. And he was given a clean bill of health. His heart is revitalized and cleared of all blockages. After returning home from the hospital, his family (especially his daughters) put him on a "healthy" diet. Strictly no meat....only vegetables and fruits, with perhaps an occasional dish of steamed fish.... no oil.

The result.... the poor old man became weaker, couldn't drive his golf ball the distance he used to, got tired easily when he did his gardening, lost a lot of weight (which everyone was happy because they see him getting healthier that way), went to bed unusually early ('cause he got tired sitting up late watching the sports channels).... in a nutshell he actually got weaker and probably suffering from mal-nutrition!

Hardly 2 months after the angioplasty he passed away, supposedly from heart complications.. All of a sudden, a few family doctor friends were able to offer explanations. One of them had this to say...

Heart blockages do not happen overnight. They are built up over time. And the body has somehow gotten used to the blockages. As long as the effects of the blockages are not life-threatening, it may be best to leave them alone. Maybe it is better not to know about this. For most men at that advanced age, blockage is common and some may be even worse. Not knowing it has one clear advantage. There won't be any STRESS imposed on the person.


And STRESS is the killer.

Some may not respond well with angioplasty. With the heart cleared of its blockages, the blood flow will be unrestricted. But sometimes the body (even the heart may not be used to this new revitalized condition) may not know how to cope with it quick enough. Coupled with a "healthy" diet of just fruits and vegetables which are not the usual and normal intake of this person, may and can do further damage.

So it's a combination of all these that could have killed this poor old man who was, just 2 months before, a healthy bubbly man living a perfectly normal STRESS-FREE retired life.

Today my friend and his siblings all regretted what they had done to their father.

Moral of the story is not to be extreme and take everything in life in its stride and with moderation.

One more thing.... my family doctor, age late 40s, hardly takes meat, a good sportsman, has a total cholesterol count of 6.

Some times it's in the genes. Like my 90 year-old mother-in-law who lives by herself, does her own marketing, cooks her own food, never eats any meat that is not fat all her life, hates lean meat, cholesterol so bloody high ......and she is still kicking and so mentally alert. One thing....she's got NO STRESS.

She only gives STRESS to all others around her. That's probably why she's living alone by herself.

So my friends... Don't get paranoid and stressed up for nothing!!! "

KL Taxi Driver....Girl please read this!!!!

Please take a few minutes to read this and share this with every female you know and care about.

On Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 6:45pm my sister boarded a taxi at the Wangsa Maju LRT to return home. At the end of the road, the taxi driver stopped to pick up another male passenger who seemed to be going off the same direction. Well, my sister didn't suspect anything funny as they looked genuine, and he was going her direction and she was in a hurry.

Little did she suspect that she was in for a huge trauma! But when she asked the taxi driver to turn into the junction where she lives, the driver pretended to miss it and the male passenger said that since they were already nearer to his place, why not send him off first and the driver politely asked my sister if that's ok and she thought she was doing a good deed!

As soon as they got to the end of the housing area next to the big walls of the Academy TV3, the male passenger, locked all the doors and leapt to the back and held a knife at her throat and forced her to bend her head down - she had to give up her jewelry, and the $200 cash she had. Not satisfied with only that much, they threatened for more so they drove off to Maybank Jln Setapak and took out everything she had that was around 7:30pm.

The driver returned the card after clearing the account! Then they drove off to the back area of Tasik Titiwangsa and dropped her off there. Left her with only $10 and ask her to take another taxi home! My sister had to walk a long way back to the main road to get help and she is really traumatised by all these.

Later at the police station we found out that she was victim #3 that same day! Let's remind everyone we know, as it could easily happen to us too or to anyone we care about.

The lesson to be learnt here:
1.. always check the plate # BEFORE you board a taxi.
2. always check the other things that a taxi should have - the driver's ID, the inside number etc, etc.
3. NEVER allow the driver to pick up another passenger - No matter what! If they do, get off and just pay the man.
4. avoid taking the taxi alone, if you can.
5. be extra careful if it is after office hours.

Note : Luckily the victim was not raped and/or killed as well, as in this case they were just after her jewelery and money.

LIFEBOOK 2009

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile


Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least :

40. Share this with everyone you care about.

只有十句话,我却看了十分钟

第一句

如果我们之间有1000步的距离

你只要跨出第1步

我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步

第二句

通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人

才是真正爱你的人

第三句

付出真心 才会得到真心

却也可能伤得彻底

保持距离 就能保护自己

却也注定永远寂寞

第四句

有时候 不是对方不在乎你

而是你把对方看得太重

第五句

朋友就是把你看透了 还能喜欢你的人

第六句

就算是believe 中间也藏了一个lie

第七句

真正的好朋友

并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题

而是在一起 就算不说话

也不会感到尴尬

第八句

没有一百分的另一半

只有五十分的两个人

第九句

为你的难过而快乐的 是敌人

为你的快乐而快乐的 是朋友

为你的难过而难过的

就是那些 该放进心里的人

第十句

冷漠 有时候并不是无情

只是一种避免被伤害的工具


PS: 本人觉得这十句话很有深度,很有意思。认真去思考,你会得到意想不到的收获。

Monday, August 31, 2009

When you don't have a choice

What would you do when you don't have a choice?

I know better than anyone else, it is not the best option. I can't sacrifice the innocent. But I was left with no choice, what else can I do.

I am not sure whether I will regret it in future, but for the time being, this is the best I can do. Hope everything will be fine.

Have you found yourself in the same situation like mine, left with no choice. Mind to share with me your story?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pay RM40 to get RM50 worth of voucher

A friend of mine has won some shopping vouchers from a contest, amounting to RM500. He is willing to sell them off at 20% discount as he needs cash urgently for emergency use. I am helping him to pass on the news / information.

Here are the details:

1.Vouchers come in 10 pieces of RM50 each.
2. Expiry date: 11-July-2010
3. Vouchers are redeemable / exchangeable for goods at all
- Metrojaya Departmental Stores
- MJ Concept Stores
- Reject Shop
- bb MAXX
- East India Company
- Somerset Bay
- Cape Cod
- Living Quarters, and
- Laura Ashley

You can buy the vouchers separately, each at 20% discount. You pay RM40 for a shopping voucher worth RM50.

Let a comment here if you are interested. I can help to arrange.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Amazing Watermelon Art Festival

Isn't it amazing? These artists have transformed the ordinary plain watermelons into some magnificent art pieces. Incredibly beautiful...

















(Image credit to Fropki.com)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Stop The Killing Of Seals

Stop The Killing Of Seals

A letter from Seals to human

Lately, the country of Noorway and Canada have introduce a new sort of tourism activity. It is called "hunting" sport. They hunt for baby seals by killing these poor baby seals with some kind of poles.



Do you see this a sport?





Can you imagine yourself playing this sport?

Why must we be the victims?

We hope you can do something about this!

Please stop this.

Help us please. We are so harmless and defenceless, we can't even strike back.

I know it's upsetting and heartbreaking looking at these images, we feel the sorrow too...!! We are being murdered brutally by these sport people and it's happening RIGHT NOW...!!!

Who are them to decide our fate? Who gives them the right to destroy us?

What sort of sport is this? We are so harmless, never hurt anyone!

We were just swimming around without disturbing anybody, and now we are dead...!!

Please save us, stop them from killing us!

I beg you not to ignore these images! Doing so makes you guilty!



Please help us...!!

Please stand by us, don't leave us alone!

Let the world leaders know about these cruel murderers...